More Assessments

Almost two years ago, I wrote a post called Assessments. I stand by everything I wrote there because, at the time, it was true. It was an honest account of my feelings and fears as well as a declaration of the fact that I knew those feelings were irrational. But feelings are what they are and we get nowhere by pretending not to feel a certain way to make ourselves look better.

We are now half-way through these assessments. It took much longer than the projected three to six months, but in the interim we had other, more general, assessments done which provided us with an initial diagnosis of ADHD and a recommendation to pursue further assessments as there were other behaviours and difficulties not explained by this diagnosis.

My bright, funny, enthusiastic, sensitive child is still exactly that. I wouldn't change anything about him. I've come to the realisation that my feelings when his older brother was diagnosed were not grief, but were instead misplaced feelings of guilt. And very real fears for his future.

I know so much more now than I did then. I know where to find help, information and support. I have dealt with the worst of my own feelings of inadequacy, guilt, anxiety and am trying really hard to be the kind of parent my children deserve.

So. Now to the point of this update: I am not scared any more. Whatever the end result of these assessments, I will not grieve because I will have lost nothing. I will instead have gained a better understanding of my child and of how to help him become a happy, healthy and productive adult.

Assessments are great and knowledge is power. I will try to remember that in future.